WISH.

In four days, it'll be Christmas once again. Time just flies so fast. I remember what my Professor told my block before the classes ended. People become so busy and excited when the Christmas season comes. But when Christmas day comes? What? Nothing really happens. Some sleep all day. Some watch TV like it's a normal day. Some go to the mall and buy stuff. Some go to their Ninong and Ninangs to ask for gifts. And others just wait for their wishes to come true.


But what is the true meaning of Christmas? I mean, why does it differ from the other days of the year? A lot of people benefit from it's "holiday" even if don't really know what the day is really about. Anyway, we can never really impose stuff to people, especially if it's religion we're talking about. We have our own share of beliefs, I believe that Christmas is all about a Savior being born to save humanity, but I can't force people to believe that, too. Even if I want to, it just can't be, free will exists.


But this is reality, whatever it is that I believe in... in 4 days, it's gonna be Christmas again. In four days, according to what I believe in, it'll be Jesus' birthday. Jesus, who was born to save a sinner like me. Jesus, who never failed to forgive my shortcomings. Jesus, who never got tired to humble himself to save a people undeserving. Jesus, who befriended a self-confessed loser like me. Jesus, who never left my side, even if I don't seem to notice. :(


If I would have a wish this Christmas. It won't be about getting a new phone, having a lot of money nor being with my family and friends. I just want to be who I was before. I want to be the Abby who knew God very well. I miss those times where He's the first one I run to when shit happens. I don't want to be a hypocrite and say that I didn't change, because I know that I did. My spiritual life became cold this year. I don't really know why, or maybe I'm avoiding the thought. Maybe because up to now, I don't understand why He has taken a lot of things from me and my family this year. :(


I just hope that this Christmas, I'll be able to love God again, despite the circumstances, despite the pain, despite the sorrow, despite the disappointments. I hope that I'll be able see him the way I see Him before. 


Despite this numbness... He's still my Father after all.


Advanced Happy Birthday, Jesus. :)

This song reminded me a lot of things...

"And I know I'm weak, I know I'm unworthy to call upon Your name.
But because of grace, because of Your mercy, I stand here unashamed."