CAMP: THE AFTERMATH. :)

I've been in the ministry for 5 years now. 6 Substance camps na rin ang naattendan ko, minus the retreats, CIs at JRev pa yan. But this 2011 camp... was the best camp that's ever happened to me. Hindi naman dahil sa lame, empty o kung ano man yung mga nakalipas na camp, pero dahil itong camp na 'to, ito yung camp na talagang natarget yung heart ko. Ito yung camp na nag-signal sakin na, 


"Abby, you know I have called you for this ministry. It has been in you for years now. Now it's time to share it with others. Substance is not here to just please you, to make you feel less lonely or to give you company whenever things are falling apart... but this ministry... is placed in your heart because this has become a part of you. A part that if taken away, will not just hurt you, but will leave you fragmented."

I turned 18 last March. Adolescence had been a very fast phase for me. It has been so fast na naninibago pa rin ako tuwing maiiisip ko na tapos nako dun. I am entering another phase, a phase that will soon lead to adulthood. Bale sa Psychology, tapos nako sa Identity vs. Role Confusion, at papasok nako sa Intimacy vs. Isolation kung pagbabasihan ang theory ni Erik Erickson with regards to the Psycho-Social Development of an individual. Mabigat kung iisiping yung dating baby ng lahat, eh kelangan nang tumanda, hindi dahil sa demands ng tao, pero dahil sa demands ng nature niya. Change is constant ika nga nila, well, totoo nga. Minsan naiisip kong ako lang ang tumatanda pero nitong previous camp, I've realized that a lot has been changing in my environment, too. Siguro, I could barely notice it because I was too focused on just noticing myself and the "society" that I belong to. All of a sudden, narealize kong in less than 5 years, hindi nako CYF. At ayokong umalis sa ministry na hindi ako nakakapagset ng example.

This past camp, I've seen the campers na sobrang kids pa noon. And I said to myself, "Abby, tanda mo na. Haha." Nasanay siguro akong ako yung pinaka-bata kasi nagstart ako sa ganun. Saling-kitkit ako lagi sa camp kasi counselors ang parents ko, dun ako nagstart. Nilalaro at inaaliw ng mga ate at kuya kasi bata pa talaga ko nun. Excited na excited akong maging 13, kasi sa wakas, magiging official camper nako at hindi na saling-kitkit. It was 2006 when I had my first official camp. 13 years old ang pinakabatang pwedeng sumama ng camp and before, sobrang strict nila sa rule na yun. Kaya nung naging 13 ako, I did not waste any time, sumama agad ako. First time na nahiwalay ako sa parents ko for 4 days. Only child ako kaya sobrang bihirang mangyari yun, sobrang kinakabahan pako nun kasi dati, hindi talaga ako nakakatulog magisa. But, syempre, everything went well. It was a good experience for a first-timer, kahit I regret na nagkasakit ako nun at naka-skip ng mga tatlong activities. After that camp, narealize ko, "Yes, sa wakas, youth nako. Sa wakas, member nako ng Substance."

Ngayon, hindi na ako yung baby Abby na inaaliw ng mga ate at kuya. Malaki nako, kung tutuusin, "Ate" na ako. And para sakin, na walang kapatid na tumatawag ng ganun... sobrang laking responsibility ang tawaging "Ate". Hindi lang siya term na pantawag sa mas matandang babae pero term siya na may kasamang respect and responsibility. As an "Ate", I realized that I have to be accountable sa mga mas bata sakin. And accountability is a big word.

Nakakatawang isipin na minsan kelangan mo pang makitang onti nalang ang oras bago ka kumilos. Kelangan mo pang tumanda bago gawin yung dapat dati mo pang ginawa. Siguro sinasabi ni God sakin na, "Abby, less than 5 years, kilos na. Create an impact. Set an example. Make a difference." And that is what's exactly in my heart now. To continue living a lifestyle of worship not because it is being expected from me, but because I have developed a habit to live that way. Buhay ko na ang Substance. Ayokong sayangin yung mga taon, yung mga natutunan ko para ipagpalipas yung mga pwede ko nang gawin ngayon. 

Create an impact. Set an example. Make a difference. Hindi lang sa ministry, pero most importantly, sa labas. Sa bahay, sa school, sa friends, sa labas ng comfort zone. I pray, that this batch of Substance CYF people will come to realize how fortunate they are, na in a very young age, they already had the chance to encounter God in a solid way na kung makikita lang nila at magiging aware sila, ay ma-p-pierce sa heart nila yung longing na madala yung transformation na nakuha nila sa Substance outside the church. Na hindi sila makakatiis na sarilinin kung ano yung natutunan nila. In that way, everything will not be in vain. I pray that this batch of young people will make habit to honor and glorify You, everyday of their lives. I pray that everyone of us may be accountable to one other, sensitive to the needs of one another. May it be physiological, physical, emotional and most specially, spiritual. I pray na walang maiiwan. Na kahit anong mangyari, walang maglalaglagan. Na pag may sumablay na isa, eh ano naman, lahat naman sumasablay, tulungan lang para bumangon. Na hindi lang friendship yung mabuo, pero isang family. Isang family na igglorify si God, hindi lang tuwing Friday Fellowships. Hindi lang tuwing CRO fellowships, o tuwing overnight big events. Pero araw-araw ng buhay namin, I pray na ikaw ang una naming makita bago ang lahat. I pray that you will lead us, guide us, protect us as we strive to create an impact. As we live to set examples. And as we struggle to make a difference.

It does not end here. We've got a long way to go. 

Substance CYF Batch 2011-2012, lez do this! :)

Chris Tomlin-Our God by tRiK11